Dating A Divorced Man

Dating a divorced man is just like dating any other man…with a few complications thrown in!

All of these complications can be dealt with. It's just a case of being aware of them...

...and knowing how to deal with them.

Listed below are the most common issues of dating a divorced man...

…and solutions for dealing with them.

He might have children. If a man is divorced he'll probably have children.

This will bring all sorts of issues into your relationship, like when will you meet them and how involved do you become in their lives?

It will also mean that he has responsibilities outside his relationship with you.

Read our guide on dating a single parent to find out how to handle this situation.

He might have financial difficulties. A lot of divorced men pay alimony to their ex-wives and children.

The amount will be different for each man but it can be as much as half of his salary.

This could mean that he has less money to spend on your relationship...

... and that he has financial worries.

If you're dating a divorced man, the best way for you to deal with this is to be understanding but NOT to get involved in his financial affairs.

He will probably have some contact with his ex-wife. This is very normal, especially if there are children involved.

He'll need to talk to her about arrangements for the children and any money issues.

It's really important to remember that this doesn't mean that his ex-wife is a threat to your relationship.

Once a couple has been through the trauma of a divorce, then it is very, very unlikely that they'll get back together again.

This is true even if they're on friendly terms.

In fact, if they do get on together then that's great…she'll probably be fine about him seeing another woman. And it shows that both of them are mature enough to be able to put any past animosity behind them.

You might even be able to develop a friendly relationship with her.

It's also normal if his ex-wife is finding it difficult to deal with the fact that he has someone new in his life.

She may have unresolved issues from the marriage and if they have children together she might be worried about her children coming into contact with someone who is a complete stranger to her.

Again the best thing to do in these circumstances is to try and understand the stress that this will cause the man you're dating and his ex-wife…but try not to get too involved in the situation.

After all, this is their business and they should be able to handle it themselves.



He might not want another serious relationship. It's very common for a divorced man to want to date casually when he's just come out of a marriage.

This phase might last weeks, months or even years. It really does vary from individual to individual.

If all you want is a casual relationship too, then that's fine.

If you're dating a divorced man and you want something more committed, then you'll need to give him space and let the relationship grow slowly.

He might change his mind…but he might not.

It's really important that you're realistic about the future of your relationship - and that you're honest with both yourself and with him about how you want things between you to develop.

The good news is that remarriage rates for divorced men are very high…so many of them do end up in serious relationships again.

But he might have emotional issues that he needs to deal with (see below) or he just might not want to get involved with anyone seriously at the moment.

Whatever the case, it's important for you to know that it's not a personal insult to you and you won't be able to change his opinion if he isn't ready for change.

Then you'll have a choice to make…do you stay with him or do you leave and find someone who wants the same things as you?

This is a very personal decision for you, there is no right or wrong answer…just what is right for you.

Talking it through with a counsellor is very helpful for a lot of women in this situation.

He might have emotional issues It's really common for a divorced man to have emotional issues.

This is true whether he left his ex-wife or she left him.

The type of issues are going to depend on what happened during the marriage, the reasons for the break-up and the circumstances surrounding the divorce.

If you're dating a divorced man and his emotional issues are affecting your relationship, try and be understanding towards him without becoming dragged down by them.

He might find that seeing a counsellor will help him deal with past traumas…but if he isn't ready to see one then don't push him into it.

He has to want to change things for himself.

Remember, pretty much anyone who has ever been in a serious relationship that has ended is going to have issues of some kind…so it doesn't mean that you should be scared of dating a divorced man.

And on the upside, a man who is divorced will probably have learned a lot from the experience.

It should give him a greater understanding about relationships and a determination to make them work in the future.

With divorce rates still high, more and more women are finding that they're dating a divorced man. So use our tips to make your experience successful.

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