Dating Etiquette - The Do's &

Don'ts of Today's Scene

Sometimes it can be a difficult to keep up with today's dating etiquette.

There seem to be so many dating rules and opinions about the right and the wrong way to date.

There are two things to remember when you're dating...

...firstly, respect yourself and your date.

And secondly, treat other people in the way you would want them to treat you.

It really is as simple as that!

And it means that you'll have a better chance of being able to find and date the right person for you.

So to help you, we have a list of dating etiquette questions and answers that solve common dating dilemmas.

How Honest Are You About Yourself?

Pretty much everyone is tempted to stretch the truth to impress other people.

Some exaggerations are harmless in themselves, like telling someone that you love opera if you don't...

but if you get caught out you'll look a bit silly.

And your date may wonder what else you've been untruthful about.

Other lies are more serious - lying about your age, whether you've got children and what type of job you have, for example.

It's fine if you're just dating casually but if you want something more serious, then it will have an effect on the long- term future of your relationship.

So be confident in who you are and know that if you're honest, you'll be attractive to the right person for you.

There's very little point in pretending to be someone you aren't and being with someone incompatible with you.

Who Pays for A Date?

The dating etiquette for payment is that the person who suggested a first date pays for it.

Normally this is the guy but it doesn't have to be.

After the first date, there are no hard and fast rules...

...sometimes, one of the couple always pays, other couples 'go dutch' during a date and some couples take it in turns to pay.

A lot is going to depend on the financial situation each of you is in.

The important thing is that you're both happy and clear about what is going to happen...

...talk about it before you go on a date to avoid any embarrassing or surprising situations.

If you want to do all the paying, then that's fine as long as you don't start to resent it.

If you do start feeling put upon, be honest with your date and tell him or her what you'd like to change.

And if you're always being paid for, why not offer to pay sometimes?

It'll be much appreciated.

Payment for the date should never be confused with payment for anything else.

The person who is being paid for is definitely not obligated in any way to the person who has paid.

Paying for the date is a form of unconditional giving.

And try not to make money an issue when you're dating someone... this should be one of the least important parts of your dating life.

So if you're finding that the two of you are arguing over this, it's possible that you're not right for each other.

Is it Okay To Date More Than One Person At A Time?

The simple answer is 'yes'... as long as everyone knows about it from the very beginning and is happy with the situation.

Multi-dating is more acceptable to some people than to others. So to avoid any problems, always be honest.

Is it Okay to Date Someone Who is Already in a Relationship?

Again, the answer is yes...as long as everyone knows about it from the very beginning and is happy with the situation. Some couples have open relationships where they date other people and their partner knows about it.

Be aware that this will probably mean that you're just a casual liaison for them...this suits some people but not others.

And ask yourself if you want to get involved with someone who is being unfaithful to their partner? There'll probably be more complications and issues in the relationship than if you were involved with someone unattached.

When is it Okay to Have Sex?

Basically, whenever the two of you both agree to it!

However, it's normally understood that if you want a relationship with someone and not just a one-night stand, then it's better to wait until after the first few dates.

That way, you're showing your date that you're interested in more than just a physical encounter with them. And just think of the anticipation!

Our article on first date sex has more information about this topic.

When is it Okay to Kiss?

Dating etiquette is much clearer about kissing than about sex. If you like someone and there's sexual chemistry, then kissing them on the first date is encouraged!

This is because you'll subconsciously be swapping pheromones and creating sexual anticipation for later dates. And you'll show your date that you're interested in being more than just a friend.

When Do You Call Someone?

When you say you will! This is only polite and respectful and politeness is at the heart of dating etiquette.

And how about calling, texting or emailing someone the day after your date to thank them for the date...you'd probably do this with a friend so why not with a potential partner?

Playing hard to get will only get you so far. Read our page on dating rules for more information on dating games.

Should You Give Flowers?

Flowers are great...but giving them is not compulsory dating etiquette. Most women love receiving flowers but they don't (or shouldn't!) expect them.

Our article on first date flowers will help you out with this issue.

So use your knowledge about dating etiquette to help you in your dating life.

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