Understanding Men

Unravel The Mystery!

Well, ladies, you know how hard understanding men can sometimes be! It doesn't matter how long you've known him, sometimes you just can't seem to see what's going on in his mind.

Don't worry, you're not imagining things! Men are genetically programmed differently from women, they have different hormones and they're brought up differently…so no wonder there are so many things about men that you find confusing.

The main thing to understand is that men are driven by a logical approach to life and not by their emotions. Every man is much more able to separate his feelings from the practicalities of life than a woman is.
Which is why most men don't become emotionally involved in a relationship as quickly as women do. And it's also why there are a lot of men on the dating scene who love being players…they're able to switch off their emotions from their physical needs and they don't want what they see as unnecessary feelings spoiling their fun.

It's important to remember that these guys are not trying to be unkind or hurt women…they just don't have the ability to empathise in the same way as women. Trying to change a player into a committed boyfriend is normally a waste of time and it'll lead to a lot of heartache for you.

So make sure you're aware of this and protect your heart until you're sure that the man that you like is developing feelings for you….and many do.

Once you're in a caring relationship with a man, understand that he'll find talking about his feelings very difficult. This isn't meant as an insult to you, it's not that he doesn't trust you to be able to help him.

It's just that most men prefer to solve their problems quietly, on their own. So if you sense that something is troubling him try not to keep asking him about it if he clearly doesn't want to talk.

Instead, just tell him something like 'I know something is wrong and I'm here for you if you need to talk about it. Otherwise I'll leave you alone and respect the fact that want to handle it yourself.'

He'll really appreciate that you're not trying to give him advice that he hasn't asked for….he won't understand that your advice is your way of showing that you care, he just sees it as nagging and controlling.

Another thing about understanding men is that many of them have trouble with intimacy. So even if he is in a committed relationship with you, there will be times that he'll want his space.

When this happens, try not to panic - this is just temporary and it's very normal. The more you chase him, the quicker he'll pull away. So leave him alone, don't pressurise him and he'll start becoming intimate again.

And because men are driven by a practical approach to life, most of them aren't at all intuitive. So he normally won't be able to pick up on your clues or hints about what you want or how you feel.

Really, subtle doesn't work on men! And it isn't his fault. A lot of women get upset at a man's lack of mind reading skills and think 'If he loved me then he'd know what I was thinking or how important this was to me! And I'm not going to tell him because then it doesn't count!'

Honestly, this approach will only keep you feeling upset. The test that a man cares is that he'll do something for you because you ask him to…honestly, he really wouldn't bother if he didn't!

So try telling him what it is that you feel or want and show him how much you appreciate his efforts.

Because men love to feel needed and wanted by you (without you becoming needy!) and that'll make both of you happy.

And the last piece of advice about understanding men is to know that the physical side of their lives is very important. You've probably heard the saying 'The way to a man's heart is through his stomach'. This is very true!

It's the same with sex – a great sex life is really important for a man to feel happy in his relationship with you.

So if you take care of his physical needs – and enjoy doing it – then he'll know that you care about him.

There are three great books that will give you more information about understanding men. These are the classic 'Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus' by John Gray, 'Why Does He Do That?…' by Gil Bryan and 'It's A Man Thing…' by Ruth Geiken.

So enjoy your new found knowledge of understanding men and be more fulfilled in your dating life!

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